So maybe the title of this post is a little misleading.
I've been out of school for nearly two years now – and I don't exactly have the blues. What I do have is a new appreciation to anyone who's ever moved to a new town and started completely fresh – with no friends, and no clear idea about how to make them.
How do people meet people, anyway?
I was never the kind of girl who had trouble making friends – I've always been happiest when I'm going in 20 directions at once, surrounded by people at all times. Then I graduated.
My first year out was a bit of a cheat – yes, I was the new girl in town, with a new job and new apartment, but I was working with so many young, fresh-from-school people that it felt like an extension of undergrad.
This year, though. What do you do when you move to a new town (or an old town, with all new people in it)? When your best friends are scattered across the country? When your coworkers are so fun but so married with children, when you realize that you could go a year without meeting a single new person if you don't shake up your routine?
I moved back so quickly this summer and moved right in with my mom to save the hassle of shopping for an apartment. We'd go to work, come home and walk the dogs, go to the gym, eat dinner. And then I had a scary thought: it could be me, my mom and the dogs forever.
Friends of mine from university and elsewhere had the same trouble. A friend from high school moved to Palo Alto and started sniffing around on Craigslist for friends. Don't resort to that.
It's hard, I know. Girls don't really meet girlfriends in bars; we're all too preoccupied at the gym. Even if you find the occasional chill person, chances are they have their own friends and lack the same ... desperation for new ones.
So I shook things up: joined an intramural dodgeball league, a few Meetup groups, and lo and behold, started to meet other young professionals in the same boat as me. I still miss my solid group from university, but I'm working on it.
It's nice to have friends, eh?
Here's my most loyal one.
3 comments:
as a francophile, i used to follow your Paris blog when i was also still a student.
now i'm living and working in a new country where i have some relatives, but not many friends. everyone here is super nice, but it's hard to socialize with even the younger colleagues because of cultural and language differences.
took a while to get comfortable (and less lonely).. finally i'm also starting to shake things up a bit!
i guess for many, this is part of growing up... :) stay strong, best wishes!
Thanks Susi!
Yeah, I can't help but feel like this is just how it's going to be from now on! I guess we'd better get used to it ... :)
I work in pretty small office and it is kinda' hard to meet people unless you put yourself out there. Mutual friends of friends work too, but again, probably have to get out to meet them.
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